I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
