I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Randomize
