No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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