my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
