Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
