five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
