I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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