you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
