Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
