lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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