It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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