Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
