Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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