I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
