ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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