do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
