why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
