Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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