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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Let's get the cat blown out
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
