Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
