Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize