I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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