I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
