Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize