I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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