No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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