no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Randomize
