well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
