wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
