just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
