Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
we're so committed to being not committed
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