i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
