he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
