Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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