Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
