Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Randomize
