mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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