dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
