Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
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