I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
