You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize