halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.