I am spending my child support on dildos
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
