That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
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I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins