Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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