drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
nutella sex= disaster
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
