So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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