I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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