meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
then he tried to convert me to islam
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
