this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
