i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
