they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
