Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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