weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
