Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
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