Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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