carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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