new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
