my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
