omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
