ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
