Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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