he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
