every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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