I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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