Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
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It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
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Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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