see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
