when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
