Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
This is my gift to your gina
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
